syringomyelia

it's really weird having to live with this...condition..if you will. i never get used to not being able to fully use my hands and arms. it's so odd. i wish i could, i really do. i have dreams of being able to use them...but they're just dreams. i hope one day there is a better cure for this horrible defect..

crying.

i don't think my family even cares that i'm dying.  not that i want it to be a huge deal but when they make fun of me because well, i'm less of a human, it hurts. and instead of crying in front of them, i run to my room and slam the door because i know if i cry in front of them, they'll only make fun of me and call me a baby.

i'm sorry i'm weak and dying. i didn't ask for this though. i didn't ask for any of it.