i'm losing it

i'm crawling out of my skin. i want this to go away. it's all falling apart because of me, because of my insecurities, my flaws, my hopelessness. i need to get things back together. i need to look for the stars in the night sky again. we put up clouds to view but not to block our vision. i'm sorry for being so broken. i want to be fixed. this time, i want to be better. i'm sorry. please forgive. let's make up and hug and be in love.

crying.

i don't think my family even cares that i'm dying.  not that i want it to be a huge deal but when they make fun of me because well, i'm less of a human, it hurts. and instead of crying in front of them, i run to my room and slam the door because i know if i cry in front of them, they'll only make fun of me and call me a baby.

i'm sorry i'm weak and dying. i didn't ask for this though. i didn't ask for any of it.